JULES BRUFF'S aspirations of making it big in Hollywood as anactress, writer, producer or director -- perhaps all four -- hasjust become intensely personal.
She has turned the camera on herself.
Bruff, an Oakland native, is starring in "Part Time Fabulous," an80-minute movie that she plans to enter in the Sundance FilmFestival on Sept. 20 -- or as many film festivals as it takes toachieve recognition.
Bruff also is the film's co-writer and co-producer. The directoris Alethea Root.
The movie's subtitle -- "Exposing the truth about her dirtylittle secret" -- suggests someone who's been living with somethingawful for a long time.
That someone would be Bruff. Her dirty little secret? Clinicaldepression. She was diagnosed with it at age 20.
"It's semi-autobiographical, this story," she said last Friday atthe Thornhill Coffee House upon returning to Oakland for a weekendvisit with her family. "It's a hybrid of a narrative story and adocumentary."
All rolled into one. Bruff is playing a character with depressionmuch like her own. Eleven other people, not necessarily actors, willbe on screen talking directly to the audience.
"I've been dealing with depression, and managing it, since I wasdiagnosed," Bruff said. "But not really, because I wasn't doingeverything one needs to do. I was on some medication, but I wasn'tpaying attention to it like I should have."
And she wasn't living a healthy lifestyle.
"I wasn't exercising enough, I wasn't in therapy," she said. "Tothe world, I seemed happy and great. But at home, I wasn't well. Itfelt like I was part-time fabulous."
She was stuck on idle, she ingested the wrong things, she stayedby herself in a dark space. Then a relationship last summer forcedher to look in the mirror. She's now taking anti-depressantsregularly. Darkness has given way to light.
"This movie sort of started to have a life of its own," she said."It's not the true story of what happened, but the character isbased on me. She falls quickly in love with a man, he moves in, heruntreated depression breaks them apart. She hits rock bottom anddecides to make a documentary of other people living with theillness, which is woven into the narrative, which has a positiveending."
She won't reveal her age, but let's just say 30 is in herrearview mirror. As for her own life, can it become as positive asthe film's ending?
"Doing the movie has changed my life," she said. "It forced me totake complete responsibility for my illness. I'm proud of my abilityas an actor, producer and writer, and to know I'm helping peoplewith this film. And I'm weaning off my anti-depressants with help."
This isn't Bruff's first film. She was the star, co-creator andco-producer of "Destined To Fail" with her now former workingpartner, Kelly Knox. The film was targeted for Internet success, butmissed its target.
Bruff wanted to do a movie about silent-screen star Clara Bow,but couldn't get the film rights. Hitting a crossroads, Bruffthought of someone she knew better than anyone else: herself.
"It's sort of like coming out of the closet," she said. "I've hadthis disease, I've been ashamed of it, mad at the world, mad atmyself. I haven't wanted to talk about it. To know that I can own it-- I'm going to get all emotional -- has changed my life. I'm notashamed anymore. I've never felt better."
She wiped away tears.
"People who don't get help, who don't talk about depression, endup killing themselves, because they're in such a dark little place,"she said. "Hopefully, this film will start a conversation."
If this interview helps out, fabulous.
Dave Newhouse's columns appear Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays,usually on the Local page. Know any Good Neighbors? Phone 510-208-6466 or e-mail dnewhouse@bayareanewsgroup.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment